CARES: Assertion

In October I am focusing on the CARES trait of Assertion. In Core Time we'll be discussing that Assertion is the ability to speak up for ourselves in a way that is honest and respectful.

We've been discussing situations where assertion is needed and practicing different ways to use it:

• You can give an opinion or say how you feel.
•  You can ask for what you want or need.
• You can disagree respectfully.
• You can offer your ideas and suggestions.
•   You can say no without feeling guilty.
•  You can speak up for someone else.

In 4-5 we also discussed the Passive and Aggressive responses.  We looked at some different scenarios and identified the responses and talked about why Assertiveness usually yields a better outcome.

Assertion is not always easy (for kids OR adults).  Sometimes we fear being assertive because we might not get the easy result we hope for.  If we're afraid of hearing no, we might think being passive on the sidelines or just aggressively demanding what we want might be easier.  The more we model assertion ourselves and encourage assertive responses when children are faced with decision-making the easier it becomes.

Since October is Bullying Prevention Month,m we'll also be tying our assertion skills to bullying prevention. The Olweus definition that we use in Albemarle county is that “Bullying is when someone says or does mean or hurtful things to someone else who has difficulty defending their self. It is repeated, intentional, and involves a power imbalance.”  We spend time looking at the difference between a conflict and bullying.  While both can be problems, the response may be very different.  For one, a conflict involves both students engaging in problem solving; while bullying is about consequences and safety.

In the younger grades, we’ll read the Band-Aid chicken about the one chicken that was brave enough to stand up and say that the pecking will stop with her.  Some classes will hear about the Bully Blockers Club  and some will hear Bully B.E.A.N.S. – both stories about a group of children that come together to speak up for all students (because everything is easier when you work with friends).  And older students have discussed my absolute favorite book on the planet – One.  When Red picks on blue and the other colors are afraid to help, 1 comes along and teaches them that it’s important to speak up for everyone (even Red) because sometimes it just takes One.

CARES: Cooperation

This year at both schools we will be focusing on the school-wide theme of CARES.  Each letter represents an important tenant of Responsive Classroom and those we want to manifest in our classrooms. Each month we will focus on one letter and work that into our classroom conversations and morning meetings.  I will be making them a central theme for Core Curriculum. This is the schedule we'll follow:

• September: Cooperation
• October: Assertion
• November: Respect
• December: Responsibility
• January: Empathy
• February: Self-Control

During September in Core time we looked at how Bucket Filling and Cooperation work together.  In K-2 we read the bucket books, based on the premise that everyone carries an invisible bucket.  When we are happy it's full and when we're not it's empty.  We can add to our own bucket by filling the bucket of others (being kind and caring).  We need to be careful not to dip in other buckets, because that also dips in ours.  And by using our lid, we can protect our buckets. In 3-5 we consider the idea that when we are a team, we look out for the buckets of other team members.  When we work together, we are all more successful and everyone feels better.  We'll be doing some activities in all the grades around looking at how the actions of one person affect everyone on the team and that together we can make a huge difference. Murray students particularly enjoyed the team escape challenge!

No More of the "G" Word!

Welcome Back!

I'm excited to be returning to Murray for year 6 and at Red Hill for year 17!  I will have an intern working with me this year - Sarah Leidersohn.  She is in the Counselor Ed program at UVA and will be working with us Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. She will be at Red Hill primarily in the beginning, but we hope to have her spend some time at Murray as well.

I have many goals for our kiddos to achieve and do amazing things this year, but on a personal note, I am committing to eliminating the "G" word from the vocabulary of my staff this year. Many years ago, the national organization made a move away from calling us Guidance Counselors and adopted the term School Counselor.  I have happily made the change myself, but haven't always been so diligent in correcting others.  I am committed to stepping that up this year.  I will also no longer be teaching Guidance classes, but will now deliver Core Curriculum.

Why does it even matter? What's the difference?

A few decades ago counselors were introduced into schools to assist students with occupational/vocational choices, college preparatory support, etc. They were teachers that simply took a few extra classes and were then called 'guidance counselors.' Fast forward to today and you'll find that we have state and local professional organizations (The American School Counselor Association- ASCA) that support us professionally and legislatively, standards we're required to follow, a requirement of (at minimum) a master's degree in counseling, and oftentimes counselors have specializations in other areas. A far cry from the persona of those that play counselors on television, in movies, and those that many of us experienced when we were in high school. 

There is a wide array of responsibilities that make up the job description of a professional school counselor and they mainly focus on the proactive, pro-social development of a child. School counselors work with conditions that interfere with a student's social, emotional, and learning process. A school counselor encourages successful academic, career, and personal/social development to ensure every child succeeds. This is accomplished through a variety of methods but mainly through individual counseling, group counseling, and core curriculum. School counselors also work collaboratively with students, teachers, parents, administration, and community members. For more on what a school counselor does, their standards, and why they are an integral part of the school community click here.


I find that many counselors are still faced with the frustrating and oftentimes annoying challenge of being referred to as a 'guidance counselor'. Below are some of the wonderful and BRIEF explanations of why we should be called school counselors and NOT guidance counselors:

* guidance is only ONE component of a counselors job 

* guidance is a service, school counselors provide a program* it's outdated terminology that does not represent the broad scope of what counselors do

* To me I feel that anyone involved in a child's life provides 'guidance' in some way, my expertise allows me to do more than just point them in a productive direction and give a 'quick fix' to a problem their presently working through. My education allows me to assist them in seeing where they've been, what they want to change/keep the same, where they want to go, and help them take the steps to get there. By assisting children through problems they are currently experiencing, it's my hope to teach them the skills and strategies to not only work through their current problem but also those that will present themselves in the future.

So now I hope you have a better concept of the difference between guidance and school counselors. With that said, please stop making us cringe, and stop using the "G" word!  :)

Summer Thoughts

As I begin packing up and clearing out for the summer, I am amazed at how quickly this year has gone.  I had an awesome 5th year at Murray and an equally awesome 16th year at Red Hill.  16 - seriously? Wow. It all just flies.

As I reflect back on CARES, Powerful Peers, Kelso’s Problem-Solving choices, Hunter’s Self Control, Wagner’s Decision-Making, Growth Mindset, Too Good for Drugs, School-Work skills, and Transition Planning I first say “Whew!”  But then I can’t wait to do it all over again next year!

I am going to take some time this summer to relax, re-charge, and re-motivate.  I have several retreats planned to the farm, the lake, and the mountains.  I hope you all will find time to be together as a family and enjoy each other. 

Here are some fun and free (or almost free) summer ideas.  Sometimes the free things actually have the most worth! 

·         Go to the park and pack a yummy lunch

·         Go fishing. Learn about the different types of fish you catch

·         Go biking or hiking (or just take a walk around the neighborhood)

·         Talk about your child’s hopes & dreams for the upcoming year

·         Go to the public library

·         Do community service

·         Cook or bake together (measuring and following  a recipe are great learning experiences)

·         Keep a journal

·         Backyard camping

·         Scavenger hunts

·         Create a small business (lemonade stand, bake sale, dog wash)

Self Control and Managing Impulsivity

First and Second graders at Red Hill are following the story of Hunter and his Amazing Remote control.  Hunter is an amazing kid but gets frustrated with himself sometimes when he acts impulsively.  He realizes he can control his brain the same way he can choose to turn on or off the TV.  He builds a remote control for his brain to remind him all the ways he can use self-control.  We are taking some time to do activities and discuss each of the buttons and at the end of the year we’ll make our own remote controls!

·         The Channel Changer  button reminds us we can change what’s on our brain

·         The Pause button reminds us to take a minute to think

·         The Rewind button reminds us that we all make mistakes but we can learn from them so we do better next time.

·         The Fast Forward button reminds us to stop and think about what could happen

·         The Slow Motion button reminds us to take our time and be smart

·         The Coach button reminds us to use self-talk to encourage ourselves to do  our best

·         The Zapper button reminds us to zap those negative thoughts

·         The Way to Go button reminds to feel good and be proud of ourselves when we work hard

October is Bullying Prevention Month

During Guidance classes we’ll be talking about how bullying is the worst kind of dipping.  The Olweus definition that we use in Albemarle County is that “Bullying is when someone says or does mean or hurtful things to someone else who has difficulty defending their self. It is repeated, intentional, and involves a power imbalance.”  We spend time looking at the difference between a conflict and bullying.  While both can be problems, the response may be very different.  For one, a conflict involves both students engaging in problem solving; while bullying is about consequences and safety.

We also spend time talking about using your lid for self and others.  We explore various strategies for holding on to your personal power and not allowing another person to take that away from you.  And we work a lot on building communities where we take care of each other.  I stress that kids without friends are more likely to be picked on and when we make sure everyone is included, bullying is much less likely to happen.  I encourage them all to be Powerful Peers – a hero friend that speaks up when something is wrong.

In the younger grades, we’ll read the Band-Aid chicken about the one chicken that was brave enough to stand up and say that the pecking will stop with her.  Some classes will hear about the Bully Blockers Club  and some will hear The Juice Box Bully – both stories about a group of children that come together to speak up for all students (because everything is easier when you work with friends).  And older students have discussed my absolute favorite book on the planet – One.  When Red picks on blue and the other colors are afraid to help, 1 comes along and teaches them that it’s important to speak up for everyone (even Red) because sometimes it just takes One.

Ticket to Ride

3rd Graders will be riding the Energy Bus this year!  What's the Energy Bus?  The original Energy Bus is a book by Jon Gordon where the bus is a metaphor for your life and with some simple rules he teaches you how to be in control of your own destiny.    The Energy Bus for Kids is an adaptation we'll be using that shows children how to overcome negativity, bullies and everyday challenges to be their best and share their positive energy with others. Every 2 weeks we will work on one of the 5 rules for achieving your personal best:

               

We'll be working on activities with Goal Setting, Growth Mindset, Bullying Prevention and Assertiveness, Bucket Filling & Caring, Respect for Self and Others, and Optimism. The overall message is: YOU are the driver of your bus.  YOU get to decide where it goes.  YOU get to decide who you have along for the ride.  AND YOU make the choices for how to handle the detours along the way.