Looking ahead

So next year will brings cheers and tears all together for me.  First the good news - 
Albemarle County has committed to a minimum of 1 full time counselor in every school next year. That means that both Red Hill and Murray will have the benefit of a counselor in the building every day.  But of course that also means I cannot stay at both schools.  I am looking forward to building on my program at Murray and being a bigger part of the day to day life there.

But at the same time it is with a heavy heart that I say farewell to Red Hill. After 17 years at Red Hill, I have come to know your families as an extension of my own. Many of you, parents, were once my students – not just here at Red Hill, but Yancey too. Between the 2 schools, I have spent the last 25 years with your families. The hundreds of relationships over those years have had a profound impact on me professionally and personally. I have laughed, cried, struggled, and celebrated with you together. This community will always hold a special place in my heart.

Ari Zlotnik will be joining you next year. She comes with new energy and enthusiasm for building relationships with your kids and I know I leave you in very capable hands. With love, I wish every one of you the very best and know I intend to keep tabs on the very bright futures of all my Moos!

To my Mustangs, have an amazing summer - rest and re-charge. I can't wait to see you all back in August!

Test Taking 101

      As SOL’s approach the anxiety levels generally seem to rise (and not just for the kids).  We have been doing some small groups with kids that might need some confidence boosters at test time.  We are working on strategies for reducing anxiety and building confidence.  With 3^rd graders being introduced to SOLs for the first time, their anxiety is a little different.  Anytime you do something for the first time nerves tend to be present, but when you hear people around you building up the SOL, its hard not to worry about it.  
     One of the first things I do is debunk the myths – no, SOLs are not used to decide if you go to 4^th grade – no, SOLs are not on your report card – and no, the sky will not fall down if you get a question wrong.  OK, the last one may be a bit of an exaggeration; but, they really do worry about what happens because the test just feels different.  I try to normalize the experience for them.  We talk about how tests are part of life.  We take them all the time – and not always in school (like a drivers license test).  The purpose of a test is to show what you know (not – what you don’t) and to determine whether you are ready for what’s next.  I share with them how teachers look at the results and make decisions regarding what new instruction, extra help, and levels they need for the next school year.     One of my favorite stories to read with 3^rd graders is Hooray for Diffendoofer Day!, by Dr. Seuss.  In the book a group of students (and a very sad principal) are worried about an upcoming test their whole school has to take.  The teacher tells them:

“Don’t Fret!

You’ve learned the things you need

To pass that test and many more –

I’m certain that You’ll succeed.

We’ve taught you that the earth is round,

That red and white make pink,

And something that matters more –

We’ve taught you how to think.”

That guides our follow up conversations that you probably know more than you think you do and if you take your time, keep your cool, and use your head – you can figure anything out.  Of course the kids in the book get the highest score possible.

I’ve included some testing tips for both kids and parents here:

Parent Tips for helping your child do his/her best and reducing Test Anxiety 1. Make sure your child gets plenty of rest - especially the night before testing – and has a healthy breakfast. Eggs, yogurt, oatmeal, apples, and berries are all great brain foods. It is also important for your child to drink plenty of water. 2. Make sure your child attends school regularly. The more effort and energy a child puts into learning, the more likely he/she will do well on tests. 3. Provide a comfortable place at home for studying. Everyone studies in a different way, so allow your child to try out different spaces to see what works best for him/her. 4. Remind your child - and yourself - that this is just one test, and that tests are designed to show what you do and don’t know, so it’s OK if they don’t know everything! Many things can influence how your child does on a test; so one test does not describe their abilities. 5. Encourage your child to take his/her time and to not get discouraged about hard questions. Some questions will be tough, but the next one might be easy! Like Dory says, “Just keep swimming!” 6. The pressure to pass and fear of failing can seriously increase your child’s anxiety. Be aware of what messages you are giving him/her about passing and failing. 7. If your child is anxious, try practicing relaxation techniques with him/her. This website has different strategies you can try: http://youth.anxietybc.com/relaxation 8. If your child is eligible for testing accommodations, make sure you know, and your child knows what those accommodations are. 9. Communicate with your child’s teachers regularly. Ask them to suggest activities for you and your child to do at home to help prepare for tests and improve your child's understanding of schoolwork. 10. Praise your child for what they do well. Everyone has strengths and helping them see their strengths can increase your child’s confidence about their abilities. The standards and last year’s test items, as well as resources, are available on the DOE web site at: http://www.pen.k12.va.us/students_parents/

Test Taking Strategies for Kids “Jail the Detail” - Highlight or underline or circle details in the questions. Why?: Because it helps me focus on exactly what the question is asking. “Be Slick and Predict”- Predict or guess what I think the answer might be BEFORE I ever read the choices. Why?: Because sometimes I can guess the answer, but if my guess is wrong then I can guess again. “Slash the Trash” - Read ALL choices, MARK OUT the ones that I KNOW are WRONG, then choose my answer from the one or ones that are left over.  Why?:Because marking out the choices that I know are wrong allows me to see the    choices left and I know the right answer is one of those left over. “Plug it In – Plug it In” - Once I choose my answer, I will plug it in and make sure it makes sense. USE THIS especially with vocabulary questions.   Why?: When I have a sentence and I have to choose the correct vocabulary word,  if I will read the sentence with each choice word, this will help me choose the word that makes the most sense. “Be Smart with Charts” & “Zap the Maps” - Look and read ALL information on the MAP or CHART before answering any of the questions. Why?: Because charts and maps provide a lot of information that I will need to answer some of the questions, so it is important to know the information that they show.   “Extra Extra – Read all About it” - If the directions say READ, then I will READ. Pay close attention to the important word. Why?: It is always important to follow the directions and ALWAYS read the directions carefully. Just like a recipe to make a cake, my directions are my test recipe so I know what to do. “ Keep on Keeping On” -  If I get to a couple of questions that I just don’t know.  Don’t give up! Keep on going. “If you Snooze You Lose!” - DO NOT leave any question BLANK! I will not have any chance of Getting it RIGHT! If I USE THESE STRATEGIES MY CHANCES OF PASSING THE TEST ARE MUCH BETTER!!!! AND  Don’t forget to take Deep Breaths & Blow out Slowly It Relaxes My BODY & BRAIN!!!!

CARES: Self-Control

February's theme is Self-Control.  Kindergartners had a blast trying to see if they could keep from jumping up to pop bubbles or avoid eating one marshmallow to earn 2!  We will also be reading a really fun book - My Mouth Is A Volcano.  Louis has a difficult time with erupting (interrupting) and learns some self control strategies to control his words.

In 1-2, we're talking about self control in regards to Peer Pressure.  Wagner finds himself in a tough spot when some of his classmates are encouraging him to make a bad choice.  He doesn't want to be left out, but he wants to do the right thing too.  Can he use self control and keep from going with the pressure?

Check out CM's thoughts on Self Control

3rd & 4th graders are looking at self -control with big emotions.  We talked about what happens in our brains when we are faced with stress or fear or frustration and why it's hard to be in control. But, we also talked about how our amazing bodies give us signals to warn us so we have time to make choices that help us stay in control.
5th graders are looking at self control and how it plays into their work habits - controlling distractions and setting priorities to meet responsibilities.

Too Good For Drugs

4th graders at both schools have just started a unit called Too Good for Drugs (TGFD).  All schools are required to have some sort of Drug Education program.  TGFD is the program that ACPS has adopted for our 4th graders.  This unit covers both School Counseling (EP8, EP9, EP10, EP11) and Health (4.2, 4.3) SOLs for 4^th grade.
      The goals of this program are 1. to develop some safety skills that help them make smart choices in uncomfortable or tempting situations; and 2. to have some background on what a drug is and why they can be dangerous.

     This can be an uncomfortable topic for both parents and students (giggling not uncommon).  I try hard to make the lessons engaging and enjoyable without undermining the seriousness of the topic. Here is an outline of the lessons and some notes on my "spin" on them.  I invite you to contact me at ANY time if you are unclear or unsure about any of these lessons.

1. Goal setting (having goals and things that matter to you give you reasons to make good choices)
2. Goal boosters/busters (make good choices about who you choose to spend time with)
3. Decision-Making (plan your actions, evaluate your choices and problem-solve using the steps for responsible decision-making.  Students will also discuss when decisions should be made alone or with the help of a responsible adult)
4. Managing Emotions (recognizing and managing emotions with healthy strategies)
5. Effective Communication (skills for resolving conflict, sharing ideas, and working cooperatively)
6. Relationships (healthy and unhealthy friendships)
7. Peer Pressure (what it is - why is effective and then 6 strategies to stand up to it)
8. Effects of Alcohol
9. Effects of Tobacco
10. Safe use of Over the Counter Medicines & Prescriptions

CARES: Empathy

January's theme  is Empathy. In the lower grades we've discussed how empathy is when you can imaging how someone else might feel or what it's like to be in their shoes.  Kindergartners loved watching the Sesame Street clip with Murray trying to figure out what it is (and his subsequent "Happy Dance").  We've watched clips from popular animated movies and looked for examples of empathy - like when Lightning McQueen gives up a win in the race to help his friend when he realizes he is hurt. We also played the game "How Would You Feel?"  In the upper grades, we've explored it through the lens of decision-making and how thinking about the consequences for both yourself and others can lead to better decisions for everyone.

CARES: Responsibilty

December's theme is Responsibility.  In Kindergarten, we read Responsible Rascal. We look at all the ways he is irresponsible and then how he turns it around to do what he needs to do.  The story stresses doing what you say you will and making sure your jobs get done. It also touches on how that's an important skill for later.  Because bosses don't want to hire people that don't get their work done.

In 1-2, we're starting a unit with Wagner the Dog and discussing how responsible students know how to think about consequences before they make choices.

In 3-5 we've been goal setting.  We talked about how responsible learners reflect regularly on where they are and where hey want to go.

3rd graders at Murray discussed responsible problem solving, especially around being in control of your emotions and using I-messages to start a problem-solving conversation.

CARES: Assertion

In October I am focusing on the CARES trait of Assertion. In Core Time we'll be discussing that Assertion is the ability to speak up for ourselves in a way that is honest and respectful.

We've been discussing situations where assertion is needed and practicing different ways to use it:

• You can give an opinion or say how you feel.
•  You can ask for what you want or need.
• You can disagree respectfully.
• You can offer your ideas and suggestions.
•   You can say no without feeling guilty.
•  You can speak up for someone else.

In 4-5 we also discussed the Passive and Aggressive responses.  We looked at some different scenarios and identified the responses and talked about why Assertiveness usually yields a better outcome.

Assertion is not always easy (for kids OR adults).  Sometimes we fear being assertive because we might not get the easy result we hope for.  If we're afraid of hearing no, we might think being passive on the sidelines or just aggressively demanding what we want might be easier.  The more we model assertion ourselves and encourage assertive responses when children are faced with decision-making the easier it becomes.

Since October is Bullying Prevention Month,m we'll also be tying our assertion skills to bullying prevention. The Olweus definition that we use in Albemarle county is that “Bullying is when someone says or does mean or hurtful things to someone else who has difficulty defending their self. It is repeated, intentional, and involves a power imbalance.”  We spend time looking at the difference between a conflict and bullying.  While both can be problems, the response may be very different.  For one, a conflict involves both students engaging in problem solving; while bullying is about consequences and safety.

In the younger grades, we’ll read the Band-Aid chicken about the one chicken that was brave enough to stand up and say that the pecking will stop with her.  Some classes will hear about the Bully Blockers Club  and some will hear Bully B.E.A.N.S. – both stories about a group of children that come together to speak up for all students (because everything is easier when you work with friends).  And older students have discussed my absolute favorite book on the planet – One.  When Red picks on blue and the other colors are afraid to help, 1 comes along and teaches them that it’s important to speak up for everyone (even Red) because sometimes it just takes One.

CARES: Cooperation

This year at both schools we will be focusing on the school-wide theme of CARES.  Each letter represents an important tenant of Responsive Classroom and those we want to manifest in our classrooms. Each month we will focus on one letter and work that into our classroom conversations and morning meetings.  I will be making them a central theme for Core Curriculum. This is the schedule we'll follow:

• September: Cooperation
• October: Assertion
• November: Respect
• December: Responsibility
• January: Empathy
• February: Self-Control

During September in Core time we looked at how Bucket Filling and Cooperation work together.  In K-2 we read the bucket books, based on the premise that everyone carries an invisible bucket.  When we are happy it's full and when we're not it's empty.  We can add to our own bucket by filling the bucket of others (being kind and caring).  We need to be careful not to dip in other buckets, because that also dips in ours.  And by using our lid, we can protect our buckets. In 3-5 we consider the idea that when we are a team, we look out for the buckets of other team members.  When we work together, we are all more successful and everyone feels better.  We'll be doing some activities in all the grades around looking at how the actions of one person affect everyone on the team and that together we can make a huge difference. Murray students particularly enjoyed the team escape challenge!

Summer Thoughts

As I begin packing up and clearing out for the summer, I am amazed at how quickly this year has gone.  I had an awesome 5th year at Murray and an equally awesome 16th year at Red Hill.  16 - seriously? Wow. It all just flies.

As I reflect back on CARES, Powerful Peers, Kelso’s Problem-Solving choices, Hunter’s Self Control, Wagner’s Decision-Making, Growth Mindset, Too Good for Drugs, School-Work skills, and Transition Planning I first say “Whew!”  But then I can’t wait to do it all over again next year!

I am going to take some time this summer to relax, re-charge, and re-motivate.  I have several retreats planned to the farm, the lake, and the mountains.  I hope you all will find time to be together as a family and enjoy each other. 

Here are some fun and free (or almost free) summer ideas.  Sometimes the free things actually have the most worth! 

·         Go to the park and pack a yummy lunch

·         Go fishing. Learn about the different types of fish you catch

·         Go biking or hiking (or just take a walk around the neighborhood)

·         Talk about your child’s hopes & dreams for the upcoming year

·         Go to the public library

·         Do community service

·         Cook or bake together (measuring and following  a recipe are great learning experiences)

·         Keep a journal

·         Backyard camping

·         Scavenger hunts

·         Create a small business (lemonade stand, bake sale, dog wash)

October is Bullying Prevention Month

During Guidance classes we’ll be talking about how bullying is the worst kind of dipping.  The Olweus definition that we use in Albemarle County is that “Bullying is when someone says or does mean or hurtful things to someone else who has difficulty defending their self. It is repeated, intentional, and involves a power imbalance.”  We spend time looking at the difference between a conflict and bullying.  While both can be problems, the response may be very different.  For one, a conflict involves both students engaging in problem solving; while bullying is about consequences and safety.

We also spend time talking about using your lid for self and others.  We explore various strategies for holding on to your personal power and not allowing another person to take that away from you.  And we work a lot on building communities where we take care of each other.  I stress that kids without friends are more likely to be picked on and when we make sure everyone is included, bullying is much less likely to happen.  I encourage them all to be Powerful Peers – a hero friend that speaks up when something is wrong.

In the younger grades, we’ll read the Band-Aid chicken about the one chicken that was brave enough to stand up and say that the pecking will stop with her.  Some classes will hear about the Bully Blockers Club  and some will hear The Juice Box Bully – both stories about a group of children that come together to speak up for all students (because everything is easier when you work with friends).  And older students have discussed my absolute favorite book on the planet – One.  When Red picks on blue and the other colors are afraid to help, 1 comes along and teaches them that it’s important to speak up for everyone (even Red) because sometimes it just takes One.

Welcome Back!

Murray's Counseling Office

So the summer has flown by and we're off and running on another exciting journey we call a school year!  I am excited to be returning to both Red Hill and Murray again this year.  Red Hill is undergoing  a major renovation.  Beautiful new learning spaces are popping up all over the building.  My space has moved as my old office is now part of the grand new library.  I am next to the conference room and am still rounding up furniture to make it as awesome as all the other spaces.  But it is coming along splendidly and I can't wait to begin sharing it with kids.

Red Hill's evolving Counseling space

My schedule this year is the same:

Murray: Mondays, Wednesdays, alt. Fridays
Red Hill: Tuesdays, Thursdays, alt. Fridays

I will visit the classrooms again this year bi-weekly.  And I am available to meet with students individually and in small groups as needed or regularly.  Feel free to contact me anytime by email or phone to discuss any questions, concerns, or needs you may have.

Let's have an AWESOME YEAR