Looking ahead

So next year will brings cheers and tears all together for me.  First the good news - 
Albemarle County has committed to a minimum of 1 full time counselor in every school next year. That means that both Red Hill and Murray will have the benefit of a counselor in the building every day.  But of course that also means I cannot stay at both schools.  I am looking forward to building on my program at Murray and being a bigger part of the day to day life there.

But at the same time it is with a heavy heart that I say farewell to Red Hill. After 17 years at Red Hill, I have come to know your families as an extension of my own. Many of you, parents, were once my students – not just here at Red Hill, but Yancey too. Between the 2 schools, I have spent the last 25 years with your families. The hundreds of relationships over those years have had a profound impact on me professionally and personally. I have laughed, cried, struggled, and celebrated with you together. This community will always hold a special place in my heart.

Ari Zlotnik will be joining you next year. She comes with new energy and enthusiasm for building relationships with your kids and I know I leave you in very capable hands. With love, I wish every one of you the very best and know I intend to keep tabs on the very bright futures of all my Moos!

To my Mustangs, have an amazing summer - rest and re-charge. I can't wait to see you all back in August!

Exploring Feelings

     So K-1 students are working on Feelings Awareness.  In Kindergarten we'll be focusing on vocabulary. Kids will often choose one of three feelings words to describe their emotions – Happy, Sad, or Mad.  And often, how they really feel is jealous, disappointed, or left out.  We are working hard to develop a vocabulary that helps them really describe what’s going on inside them.  And they love experimenting by using words like clever, blue, curious, irritated, and shocked.

 We will be reading a selection of books that expose them to different feelings vocabulary.  I'll be using the characters from the movie Inside Out to guide us in our discussions and lists.  We’ll also watch some video clips and do some fun activities.   One of the favorite activities I’ll be doing with the K’s later is the music activity where they get to decide how a piece of music feels and then move their bodies to demonstrate the mood.  They have a lot of fun – the budding dancers really get to show off!  And we get to talk about how we tend to move slower, faster, louder, etc. in response to our feelings.  We’ll also do a similar activity with color.

In first grade at Murray and 1-2 at Red Hill, we explore the more difficult feelings – the angry, upset, and fearful ones – we’ll also talk about strategies for dealing with them.   I will stress over and over all feelings are OK (it’s not bad to get angry), but it’s what you do with them that counts.  They love bubble breathing and using our sense of humor to combat new or scary situations.

Next week, we'll explore anger.  We talk about what happens in our brain and watch a video called "Just Breathe."  We discussed the importance of calming down before you try to problem solve. They had fun visualizing a jar of glitter while we practiced breathing, but more importantly they got to see how we all need different time and space to calm down. 

    

Kelso's Choices

1st Graders at Murray and 3-4 kids at Red Hill are working on a unit on Kelso’s Choices.  Kelso is a pretty smart frog that teaches students the difference between big problems and small problems.  Big problems are those that are scary or recurring and should be shared with a grown-up they trust. Small problems are those that are more everyday problems that may cause you to feel irritated or annoyed.  Kelso encourages students to recognize they are smart enough and capable of handling many of these small problems on their own.  And then he shares 9 choices they have to do this.  I suggest that can try 2 of these before deciding they need to take it to a teacher (reminding them anything dangerous or uncomfortable should always go right to a grown up).

We'll discuss all nine choices and will be practicing them.  They are:

· Walk Away · Tell Them To Stop · Talk It Out · Make A Deal · Share and Take Turns

· Apologize · Wait and Cool Off · Go To Another Game · Ignore

CARES: Self-Control

February's theme is Self-Control.  Kindergartners had a blast trying to see if they could keep from jumping up to pop bubbles or avoid eating one marshmallow to earn 2!  We will also be reading a really fun book - My Mouth Is A Volcano.  Louis has a difficult time with erupting (interrupting) and learns some self control strategies to control his words.

In 1-2, we're talking about self control in regards to Peer Pressure.  Wagner finds himself in a tough spot when some of his classmates are encouraging him to make a bad choice.  He doesn't want to be left out, but he wants to do the right thing too.  Can he use self control and keep from going with the pressure?

Check out CM's thoughts on Self Control

3rd & 4th graders are looking at self -control with big emotions.  We talked about what happens in our brains when we are faced with stress or fear or frustration and why it's hard to be in control. But, we also talked about how our amazing bodies give us signals to warn us so we have time to make choices that help us stay in control.
5th graders are looking at self control and how it plays into their work habits - controlling distractions and setting priorities to meet responsibilities.

CARES: Empathy

January's theme  is Empathy. In the lower grades we've discussed how empathy is when you can imaging how someone else might feel or what it's like to be in their shoes.  Kindergartners loved watching the Sesame Street clip with Murray trying to figure out what it is (and his subsequent "Happy Dance").  We've watched clips from popular animated movies and looked for examples of empathy - like when Lightning McQueen gives up a win in the race to help his friend when he realizes he is hurt. We also played the game "How Would You Feel?"  In the upper grades, we've explored it through the lens of decision-making and how thinking about the consequences for both yourself and others can lead to better decisions for everyone.

CARES: Responsibilty

December's theme is Responsibility.  In Kindergarten, we read Responsible Rascal. We look at all the ways he is irresponsible and then how he turns it around to do what he needs to do.  The story stresses doing what you say you will and making sure your jobs get done. It also touches on how that's an important skill for later.  Because bosses don't want to hire people that don't get their work done.

In 1-2, we're starting a unit with Wagner the Dog and discussing how responsible students know how to think about consequences before they make choices.

In 3-5 we've been goal setting.  We talked about how responsible learners reflect regularly on where they are and where hey want to go.

3rd graders at Murray discussed responsible problem solving, especially around being in control of your emotions and using I-messages to start a problem-solving conversation.

Stop & Think

1-2 students at Red Hill and 2nd graders at Murray have been having some fun with Stop & Think!  They've been hanging out with Wagner the dog the last month or so.  Wagner finds himself in some tough spots when he doesn't stop & think about consequences.  They are teaching Wagner the Stop & Think song and next we'll play a game showing they can think ahead to what could happen. We'll continue to practice Stop & Think strategies with Wagner as we talk about handling frustration, problem-solving, and friendship.

CARES: Respect

The theme for November is Respect.  In Kindergarten we're talking about respectful words.  We read Chrysanthemum and every time someone used words that hurt her heart we would wrinkle our paper heart.  Then we discussed how we couldn't completely make it better, even with a lot of sorries! We decided the based way to avoid a wrinkled heart was to choose kind words from the start!

Ks and 1s had some fun comparing the Silly School and the Super School.  In the Silly School words and behaviors were not very respectful, while in the Super School - they were.  We decided it would be hard to learn in a silly school and made our own super school book.

Third graders are beginning to work on respectful problem solving.  We started with understanding our emotional reactions to conflict and thinking about how we approach a problem if we're feeling angry (not an easy task for anyone!)

CARES: Assertion

In October I am focusing on the CARES trait of Assertion. In Core Time we'll be discussing that Assertion is the ability to speak up for ourselves in a way that is honest and respectful.

We've been discussing situations where assertion is needed and practicing different ways to use it:

• You can give an opinion or say how you feel.
•  You can ask for what you want or need.
• You can disagree respectfully.
• You can offer your ideas and suggestions.
•   You can say no without feeling guilty.
•  You can speak up for someone else.

In 4-5 we also discussed the Passive and Aggressive responses.  We looked at some different scenarios and identified the responses and talked about why Assertiveness usually yields a better outcome.

Assertion is not always easy (for kids OR adults).  Sometimes we fear being assertive because we might not get the easy result we hope for.  If we're afraid of hearing no, we might think being passive on the sidelines or just aggressively demanding what we want might be easier.  The more we model assertion ourselves and encourage assertive responses when children are faced with decision-making the easier it becomes.

Since October is Bullying Prevention Month,m we'll also be tying our assertion skills to bullying prevention. The Olweus definition that we use in Albemarle county is that “Bullying is when someone says or does mean or hurtful things to someone else who has difficulty defending their self. It is repeated, intentional, and involves a power imbalance.”  We spend time looking at the difference between a conflict and bullying.  While both can be problems, the response may be very different.  For one, a conflict involves both students engaging in problem solving; while bullying is about consequences and safety.

In the younger grades, we’ll read the Band-Aid chicken about the one chicken that was brave enough to stand up and say that the pecking will stop with her.  Some classes will hear about the Bully Blockers Club  and some will hear Bully B.E.A.N.S. – both stories about a group of children that come together to speak up for all students (because everything is easier when you work with friends).  And older students have discussed my absolute favorite book on the planet – One.  When Red picks on blue and the other colors are afraid to help, 1 comes along and teaches them that it’s important to speak up for everyone (even Red) because sometimes it just takes One.

CARES: Cooperation

This year at both schools we will be focusing on the school-wide theme of CARES.  Each letter represents an important tenant of Responsive Classroom and those we want to manifest in our classrooms. Each month we will focus on one letter and work that into our classroom conversations and morning meetings.  I will be making them a central theme for Core Curriculum. This is the schedule we'll follow:

• September: Cooperation
• October: Assertion
• November: Respect
• December: Responsibility
• January: Empathy
• February: Self-Control

During September in Core time we looked at how Bucket Filling and Cooperation work together.  In K-2 we read the bucket books, based on the premise that everyone carries an invisible bucket.  When we are happy it's full and when we're not it's empty.  We can add to our own bucket by filling the bucket of others (being kind and caring).  We need to be careful not to dip in other buckets, because that also dips in ours.  And by using our lid, we can protect our buckets. In 3-5 we consider the idea that when we are a team, we look out for the buckets of other team members.  When we work together, we are all more successful and everyone feels better.  We'll be doing some activities in all the grades around looking at how the actions of one person affect everyone on the team and that together we can make a huge difference. Murray students particularly enjoyed the team escape challenge!

Summer Thoughts

As I begin packing up and clearing out for the summer, I am amazed at how quickly this year has gone.  I had an awesome 5th year at Murray and an equally awesome 16th year at Red Hill.  16 - seriously? Wow. It all just flies.

As I reflect back on CARES, Powerful Peers, Kelso’s Problem-Solving choices, Hunter’s Self Control, Wagner’s Decision-Making, Growth Mindset, Too Good for Drugs, School-Work skills, and Transition Planning I first say “Whew!”  But then I can’t wait to do it all over again next year!

I am going to take some time this summer to relax, re-charge, and re-motivate.  I have several retreats planned to the farm, the lake, and the mountains.  I hope you all will find time to be together as a family and enjoy each other. 

Here are some fun and free (or almost free) summer ideas.  Sometimes the free things actually have the most worth! 

·         Go to the park and pack a yummy lunch

·         Go fishing. Learn about the different types of fish you catch

·         Go biking or hiking (or just take a walk around the neighborhood)

·         Talk about your child’s hopes & dreams for the upcoming year

·         Go to the public library

·         Do community service

·         Cook or bake together (measuring and following  a recipe are great learning experiences)

·         Keep a journal

·         Backyard camping

·         Scavenger hunts

·         Create a small business (lemonade stand, bake sale, dog wash)

Self Control and Managing Impulsivity

First and Second graders at Red Hill are following the story of Hunter and his Amazing Remote control.  Hunter is an amazing kid but gets frustrated with himself sometimes when he acts impulsively.  He realizes he can control his brain the same way he can choose to turn on or off the TV.  He builds a remote control for his brain to remind him all the ways he can use self-control.  We are taking some time to do activities and discuss each of the buttons and at the end of the year we’ll make our own remote controls!

·         The Channel Changer  button reminds us we can change what’s on our brain

·         The Pause button reminds us to take a minute to think

·         The Rewind button reminds us that we all make mistakes but we can learn from them so we do better next time.

·         The Fast Forward button reminds us to stop and think about what could happen

·         The Slow Motion button reminds us to take our time and be smart

·         The Coach button reminds us to use self-talk to encourage ourselves to do  our best

·         The Zapper button reminds us to zap those negative thoughts

·         The Way to Go button reminds to feel good and be proud of ourselves when we work hard

October is Bullying Prevention Month

During Guidance classes we’ll be talking about how bullying is the worst kind of dipping.  The Olweus definition that we use in Albemarle County is that “Bullying is when someone says or does mean or hurtful things to someone else who has difficulty defending their self. It is repeated, intentional, and involves a power imbalance.”  We spend time looking at the difference between a conflict and bullying.  While both can be problems, the response may be very different.  For one, a conflict involves both students engaging in problem solving; while bullying is about consequences and safety.

We also spend time talking about using your lid for self and others.  We explore various strategies for holding on to your personal power and not allowing another person to take that away from you.  And we work a lot on building communities where we take care of each other.  I stress that kids without friends are more likely to be picked on and when we make sure everyone is included, bullying is much less likely to happen.  I encourage them all to be Powerful Peers – a hero friend that speaks up when something is wrong.

In the younger grades, we’ll read the Band-Aid chicken about the one chicken that was brave enough to stand up and say that the pecking will stop with her.  Some classes will hear about the Bully Blockers Club  and some will hear The Juice Box Bully – both stories about a group of children that come together to speak up for all students (because everything is easier when you work with friends).  And older students have discussed my absolute favorite book on the planet – One.  When Red picks on blue and the other colors are afraid to help, 1 comes along and teaches them that it’s important to speak up for everyone (even Red) because sometimes it just takes One.

Welcome Back!

Murray's Counseling Office

So the summer has flown by and we're off and running on another exciting journey we call a school year!  I am excited to be returning to both Red Hill and Murray again this year.  Red Hill is undergoing  a major renovation.  Beautiful new learning spaces are popping up all over the building.  My space has moved as my old office is now part of the grand new library.  I am next to the conference room and am still rounding up furniture to make it as awesome as all the other spaces.  But it is coming along splendidly and I can't wait to begin sharing it with kids.

Red Hill's evolving Counseling space

My schedule this year is the same:

Murray: Mondays, Wednesdays, alt. Fridays
Red Hill: Tuesdays, Thursdays, alt. Fridays

I will visit the classrooms again this year bi-weekly.  And I am available to meet with students individually and in small groups as needed or regularly.  Feel free to contact me anytime by email or phone to discuss any questions, concerns, or needs you may have.

Let's have an AWESOME YEAR

Career Dreaming

March 31st is Career Day at Red Hill. While this is our Spirit Day to celebrate the food drive efforts, I have been focusing on Careers in Guidance this month.  In elementary school, Career Guidance is not so much about asking students to define their career path, but to develop those all important work success skills, get to know themselves – their interests, skills, passions, learning styles…,  and get exposure to careers they might not even know exist.

With RHU (and 5th graders at Murray), we are working on the Color Quiz.  It’s an elementary friendly version of the Meyers-Briggs – an inventory that helps define their personality type.  We are discovering strengths they have and looking at careers that align with those strengths. It’s been fun to watch them really think and reflect on themselves as they answer the questions. we then took the information and created resumes for their dream jobs.

With 2-3,  we created maps to our future.  We looked at subjects we enjoy at Red Hill, activities we might want to do at Walton, and things we'd like to learn more about at Monticello.  Then we talked about college and all the choices we get about where we go and what we study.  We brainstormed careers that match our interests and passions and ended our map at a possible career goal.

With K-1, we read a book from Julia Cook, one of our favorite authors - What Shoes Will You Wear? 2 kids explore different shoes, imagine themselves wearing them and thinking about what job they’ll be doing. Kids drew pictures of themselves in their future work shoes. Kindergartners at Murray read Clothesline Clues to Jobs People Do  and we had some similar conversation.

I can’t wait to see all the fun outfits in a couple weeks and am encouraging the kids to Dream Big! Last year we used the song Career Day as our theme. Kids enjoyed the video.  You can check it out here. This year I will be creating our own Career Day photos. I hope to unveil them next week. Stay tuned!

Bucket Filling

Have You Filled A Bucket Today? 

The last couple of years every class has spent some time focusing on one or more of the Bucket Filling books during Guidance: Fill A Bucket, by Tom Rath, or Have You Filled A Bucket Today?, Will You Fill My Bucket?, Bucket filling A-Z, and Growing Up With A Bucket Full of Happiness by Carol McCloud. This year we will continue to practice our bucket-filling expertise. And Red Hill kids will be encouraged to fill lots of buckets on our Kindness Day Sept. 24!

In a new twist on the Golden Rule, the books explain to children that we all carry an invisible bucket in which we keep our feelings about ourselves. When our buckets are full, we are happy; when they are empty, we are sad. It's important to know that we can fill our own bucket and so can others. We can also dip into it.

A BUCKET FILLER is someone who says or does nice things for other people. By doing this, they are filling other people's buckets and filling their own bucket at the same time. The metaphor of a bucket helps all children understand the importance of consideration and empathy.

On the other hand, a BUCKET DIPPER says or does things to cause other people to feel bad. A bucket dipper empties their bucket when they say and do mean things. Students are also reminded to use their lid to take personal responsibility for their buckets and remember they do not have to allow others to "dip" in their bucket.

This is a wonderful way to ignite children's desire to do loving things for others as well as assist them on their journey toward being self-aware individuals. You may even wish to use this idea in your home by identifying "bucket filling" acts within your family. As part of our Climate goal on our School Improvement Plan, it is our goal to encourage positive social skills, foster friendships, increase self-esteem, and help to make our school an even better place to be.

Always remember that everyone carries an invisible bucket.

What little thing can you do to fill someone's bucket today?

 We fill buckets...

​	NO DIPPING ALLOWED!  ​

What Does a School Counselor Do?

So the first 2 weeks every year my time in the classrooms is spent reviewing who I am and what I do in the building.  I have several kid-given titles including the Guidance teacher, the lady that reads us stories, the lady that teaches us about friends and tells us not to bully, the helper person, the one you talk to, and my personal favorite: Our Friend.

In a nutshell, I want the kids to know that, as their School Counselor, I:
... am there to help support them to be the best learner they can be
... am there to help them solve problems that may come up during the year (Peer Conflicts, Study Skill difficulties, Emotional concerns that might be occupying their mind)
... will visit their classroom a couple times a month to teach life skills that help us all
...can work with kids individually or in small groups
...will keep their business private unless someone is getting hurt or I have permission to share

Presenting this information looks different in all the grades, but I aim to keep it fun.  For many kids they've heard it before and its also my first impression every year.
Kindergarteners at Murray will hear it for the first time so we'll play some name games to help me learn who they are and then I'll share a coloring book story with them.  The story is aimed to help them understand the difference between a teacher and a counselor (a new idea for sure).  We'll discuss it together and then I'll ask them to share it with the adults at home.  2nd graders will get an older version of the coloring book.
K/1 students at Red Hill and 1st graders at Murray will meet Ms. Potato Head Counselor.  As we put her together we discuss how each part of her is also part of my job: Eyes: Keeping my eyes on them, Feet: walking to their classroom, Taped Mouth: Keeping their privacy, Ears: Listening to what they need to tell me, Purse: Using my bag of tricks to help them learn new skills, Phone: to talk to parents and teachers, Book: To read them awesome stories.
2/3 students at Red Hill and 3rd graders at Murray will get to play Who Wants to Be the Counselor's Millionaire? and 4th and 5th graders at both schools will get to play Counselor Jeopardy.
Whatever they call me is fine, as long as they feel like they can trust me and they know I am there to help, then we're good to go!