From a Butter Battle to a Sandwich Swap!

 So 3rd graders at Murray have been working on Conflict Resolution and Problem Solving through the 2nd and 3rd quarters. We started by looking at conflict and how it is human nature to disagree and conflict isn't always a bad thing.  We discussed the concept of "Agree to Disagree." We practiced I-statements as a way to start a disagreement conversation and then spent considerable time on listening to understand. "I hear you" doesn't always mean the same thing as "I understand you."

But the next phase of our unit took a detour I just had to share! I brought in the Butter Battle Book, by Dr. Seuss.  In the book the Yooks eat their bread butter side up and the Zooks eat their bread butter side down.  It leads to a war between the sides - a wall built  - and escalating tactics that get completely out of control. I shared with the kids that often a desire to WIN a conflict rather than SOLVE it causes it to escalate to a point where no one wins.We divided up into 2 teams - Yooks and Zooks.  I asked the kids to come together and see if they could create a treaty between the 2 nations so we could bring down the wall and live where everyone feels safe. I challenged them to think of something they need to understand about the other side and something you really need them to understand about your point of view.

Not only did they come up with an agreement where all buttered bread would be OK, but expanded it to putting them together and making sandwiches.  They decided that there should be an annual holiday to honor the treaty and it would be celebrated with Sandwich Day and all Yooks and Zooks would come together and share their favorite sandwiches with each other on that day.

This great idea made me think of one of my other favorite books: The Sandwich Swap, by  Queen Rania of Jordan Al Abdullah.  In this story 2 friends stare at each other's sandwiches thinking the other is gross until one finally has to share those feelings, leading to a conflict where the classmates choose sides.  They resolve it by trying each other's sandwiches and discovering something new they like.  The school celebrates with a sandwich day.  I brought the book in the next visit and we had a sandwich sharing conversation.  I asked them to each tell about their favorite sandwich and why it's their favorite.  I heard so many wonderful stories - not just about foods and flavors they like - but stories about learning to cook with mom or grandma, about grilled cheese sandwiches shared just with dad, about a sandwich discovered on an awesome family trip, and even family recipes that have been around for a long time!  The kids discovered new things about each other, new foods or combinations they want to try and tons of things they have in common or not.

If I wan't nervous about allergies and other food concerns,  I would love to have been able to create sandwich stations for the kids to share and try each other's favorites.  But even so, this was one of the richest conversations I have had all year.  These 8-year-olds helped remind me that sometimes the simplest things in life can be those that bring us together if we take one second to listen and be open, rather than jump to a quick judgement.  Although, I have to admit, I was pretty hungry when I left that room!