CARES: Assertion

In October I am focusing on the CARES trait of Assertion. In Core Time we'll be discussing that Assertion is the ability to speak up for ourselves in a way that is honest and respectful.

We've been discussing situations where assertion is needed and practicing different ways to use it:

• You can give an opinion or say how you feel.
•  You can ask for what you want or need.
• You can disagree respectfully.
• You can offer your ideas and suggestions.
•   You can say no without feeling guilty.
•  You can speak up for someone else.

In 4-5 we also discussed the Passive and Aggressive responses.  We looked at some different scenarios and identified the responses and talked about why Assertiveness usually yields a better outcome.

Assertion is not always easy (for kids OR adults).  Sometimes we fear being assertive because we might not get the easy result we hope for.  If we're afraid of hearing no, we might think being passive on the sidelines or just aggressively demanding what we want might be easier.  The more we model assertion ourselves and encourage assertive responses when children are faced with decision-making the easier it becomes.

Since October is Bullying Prevention Month,m we'll also be tying our assertion skills to bullying prevention. The Olweus definition that we use in Albemarle county is that “Bullying is when someone says or does mean or hurtful things to someone else who has difficulty defending their self. It is repeated, intentional, and involves a power imbalance.”  We spend time looking at the difference between a conflict and bullying.  While both can be problems, the response may be very different.  For one, a conflict involves both students engaging in problem solving; while bullying is about consequences and safety.

In the younger grades, we’ll read the Band-Aid chicken about the one chicken that was brave enough to stand up and say that the pecking will stop with her.  Some classes will hear about the Bully Blockers Club  and some will hear Bully B.E.A.N.S. – both stories about a group of children that come together to speak up for all students (because everything is easier when you work with friends).  And older students have discussed my absolute favorite book on the planet – One.  When Red picks on blue and the other colors are afraid to help, 1 comes along and teaches them that it’s important to speak up for everyone (even Red) because sometimes it just takes One.