October is Bullying Prevention Month

During Guidance classes we’ll be talking about how bullying is the worst kind of dipping.  The Olweus definition that we use in Albemarle County is that “Bullying is when someone says or does mean or hurtful things to someone else who has difficulty defending their self. It is repeated, intentional, and involves a power imbalance.”  We spend time looking at the difference between a conflict and bullying.  While both can be problems, the response may be very different.  For one, a conflict involves both students engaging in problem solving; while bullying is about consequences and safety.

We also spend time talking about using your lid for self and others.  We explore various strategies for holding on to your personal power and not allowing another person to take that away from you.  And we work a lot on building communities where we take care of each other.  I stress that kids without friends are more likely to be picked on and when we make sure everyone is included, bullying is much less likely to happen.  I encourage them all to be Powerful Peers – a hero friend that speaks up when something is wrong.

In the younger grades, we’ll read the Band-Aid chicken about the one chicken that was brave enough to stand up and say that the pecking will stop with her.  Some classes will hear about the Bully Blockers Club  and some will hear The Juice Box Bully – both stories about a group of children that come together to speak up for all students (because everything is easier when you work with friends).  And older students have discussed my absolute favorite book on the planet – One.  When Red picks on blue and the other colors are afraid to help, 1 comes along and teaches them that it’s important to speak up for everyone (even Red) because sometimes it just takes One.

Ticket to Ride

3rd Graders will be riding the Energy Bus this year!  What's the Energy Bus?  The original Energy Bus is a book by Jon Gordon where the bus is a metaphor for your life and with some simple rules he teaches you how to be in control of your own destiny.    The Energy Bus for Kids is an adaptation we'll be using that shows children how to overcome negativity, bullies and everyday challenges to be their best and share their positive energy with others. Every 2 weeks we will work on one of the 5 rules for achieving your personal best:

               

We'll be working on activities with Goal Setting, Growth Mindset, Bullying Prevention and Assertiveness, Bucket Filling & Caring, Respect for Self and Others, and Optimism. The overall message is: YOU are the driver of your bus.  YOU get to decide where it goes.  YOU get to decide who you have along for the ride.  AND YOU make the choices for how to handle the detours along the way.

Welcome Back!

Murray's Counseling Office

So the summer has flown by and we're off and running on another exciting journey we call a school year!  I am excited to be returning to both Red Hill and Murray again this year.  Red Hill is undergoing  a major renovation.  Beautiful new learning spaces are popping up all over the building.  My space has moved as my old office is now part of the grand new library.  I am next to the conference room and am still rounding up furniture to make it as awesome as all the other spaces.  But it is coming along splendidly and I can't wait to begin sharing it with kids.

Red Hill's evolving Counseling space

My schedule this year is the same:

Murray: Mondays, Wednesdays, alt. Fridays
Red Hill: Tuesdays, Thursdays, alt. Fridays

I will visit the classrooms again this year bi-weekly.  And I am available to meet with students individually and in small groups as needed or regularly.  Feel free to contact me anytime by email or phone to discuss any questions, concerns, or needs you may have.

Let's have an AWESOME YEAR

Career Dreaming

March 31st is Career Day at Red Hill. While this is our Spirit Day to celebrate the food drive efforts, I have been focusing on Careers in Guidance this month.  In elementary school, Career Guidance is not so much about asking students to define their career path, but to develop those all important work success skills, get to know themselves – their interests, skills, passions, learning styles…,  and get exposure to careers they might not even know exist.

With RHU (and 5th graders at Murray), we are working on the Color Quiz.  It’s an elementary friendly version of the Meyers-Briggs – an inventory that helps define their personality type.  We are discovering strengths they have and looking at careers that align with those strengths. It’s been fun to watch them really think and reflect on themselves as they answer the questions. we then took the information and created resumes for their dream jobs.

With 2-3,  we created maps to our future.  We looked at subjects we enjoy at Red Hill, activities we might want to do at Walton, and things we'd like to learn more about at Monticello.  Then we talked about college and all the choices we get about where we go and what we study.  We brainstormed careers that match our interests and passions and ended our map at a possible career goal.

With K-1, we read a book from Julia Cook, one of our favorite authors - What Shoes Will You Wear? 2 kids explore different shoes, imagine themselves wearing them and thinking about what job they’ll be doing. Kids drew pictures of themselves in their future work shoes. Kindergartners at Murray read Clothesline Clues to Jobs People Do  and we had some similar conversation.

I can’t wait to see all the fun outfits in a couple weeks and am encouraging the kids to Dream Big! Last year we used the song Career Day as our theme. Kids enjoyed the video.  You can check it out here. This year I will be creating our own Career Day photos. I hope to unveil them next week. Stay tuned!

From a Butter Battle to a Sandwich Swap!

 So 3rd graders at Murray have been working on Conflict Resolution and Problem Solving through the 2nd and 3rd quarters. We started by looking at conflict and how it is human nature to disagree and conflict isn't always a bad thing.  We discussed the concept of "Agree to Disagree." We practiced I-statements as a way to start a disagreement conversation and then spent considerable time on listening to understand. "I hear you" doesn't always mean the same thing as "I understand you."

But the next phase of our unit took a detour I just had to share! I brought in the Butter Battle Book, by Dr. Seuss.  In the book the Yooks eat their bread butter side up and the Zooks eat their bread butter side down.  It leads to a war between the sides - a wall built  - and escalating tactics that get completely out of control. I shared with the kids that often a desire to WIN a conflict rather than SOLVE it causes it to escalate to a point where no one wins.We divided up into 2 teams - Yooks and Zooks.  I asked the kids to come together and see if they could create a treaty between the 2 nations so we could bring down the wall and live where everyone feels safe. I challenged them to think of something they need to understand about the other side and something you really need them to understand about your point of view.

Not only did they come up with an agreement where all buttered bread would be OK, but expanded it to putting them together and making sandwiches.  They decided that there should be an annual holiday to honor the treaty and it would be celebrated with Sandwich Day and all Yooks and Zooks would come together and share their favorite sandwiches with each other on that day.

This great idea made me think of one of my other favorite books: The Sandwich Swap, by  Queen Rania of Jordan Al Abdullah.  In this story 2 friends stare at each other's sandwiches thinking the other is gross until one finally has to share those feelings, leading to a conflict where the classmates choose sides.  They resolve it by trying each other's sandwiches and discovering something new they like.  The school celebrates with a sandwich day.  I brought the book in the next visit and we had a sandwich sharing conversation.  I asked them to each tell about their favorite sandwich and why it's their favorite.  I heard so many wonderful stories - not just about foods and flavors they like - but stories about learning to cook with mom or grandma, about grilled cheese sandwiches shared just with dad, about a sandwich discovered on an awesome family trip, and even family recipes that have been around for a long time!  The kids discovered new things about each other, new foods or combinations they want to try and tons of things they have in common or not.

If I wan't nervous about allergies and other food concerns,  I would love to have been able to create sandwich stations for the kids to share and try each other's favorites.  But even so, this was one of the richest conversations I have had all year.  These 8-year-olds helped remind me that sometimes the simplest things in life can be those that bring us together if we take one second to listen and be open, rather than jump to a quick judgement.  Although, I have to admit, I was pretty hungry when I left that room!

K-1 Personal Safety Unit

K-1 students at both schools  are engaged in our safety unit.  This is always one of those units that is so crucial and yet a little touchy.  When I watch the  sad news stories about missing kids or see another Amber alert on my devices, I wonder if I do enough sometimes or should I start earlier!

Many of the students learn about personal space during PE classes.  I expand on that by teaching they have 4 different personal spaces.  That becomes the foundation for each of the subsequent lessons.

 We begin with stranger space.  The stranger space is 2 arm lengths.  Students demonstrate that by stretching their arm out in front of them.  The challenge here is giving students a healthy respect for danger, but not scaring them into a fear of public places.  I stress that there are lots of good people in the world and just a few bad people (or scoopers).  The problem is that you can’t tell by looking at someone if they are good or not so you have to be careful with everyone just in case.  I share the book, Scoop, by Julia Cook with them.  In the book they learn that no one can scoop you if they can’t reach you.  That means we just keep a safe distance from people you don’t know.  We don’t have to be scared or run away or scream, just keep far enough away they can’t touch you.  And if a stranger steps toward you, then you simply step back.  We also learn about call lists and never going anywhere with anyone you weren’t expecting without checking with someone on your call list.  I also touch on other ways we can come in contact with strangers like the computer or phone.  We talk about the importance of never giving out personal information like your address or your name.

The next space is our friend space.  This is the space around us when we put our hands on our hips.  It’s close enough to read together, play games together, and have conversations, but not close enough to be uncomfortable.  This is the safe space for most of the people we know well.  If we’re not sure, we can use the dinner rule.  Would my family have this person over for dinner? If yes, then they are probably a friend.  We review the stranger space and remember that if someone we don’t know steps toward our friend space we back up. 

The third space is our family space.  This is the space when we have are arms right next to us.  I also call this the snuggle space.  We talk about how it’s OK to snuggle up and watch a movie or give hugs and kisses to family, but we wouldn’t snuggle with our friends.  We practice some polite ways to let our friends know when they are in our family space.  Sometimes we just need to let them know they are in our space and it’s easily fixed.  But, if we ask and that person keeps getting too close or makes us uncomfortable we should let a grown up know.

The last space is our private space.  This is often where I get a few giggles because it’s the most uncomfortable to talk about but it’s so important that children know they have the right to say no!  I define this as the areas of your body covered by a bathing suit.  The kids demonstrate this space by giving themselves a hug.  I stress to the kids that when you’re little, a parent might help bathe you or change a diaper; and if you have a problem a doctor might need to see those areas.  But, otherwise no one has the right to be in those spaces except for you.  If someone is in your private spaces you should do 3 things: 1) Say no using your big voice, 2) Move away immediately, and 3) Tell a grown up you trust. We practice the big voice, which is a low and loud way to say no.  The big voice should sound really different than your play voice because it makes people look to see what’s going on.  They are never to use the big voice except in an emergency.  It’s not for the playground, but for those times when you really need someone to pay attention. 

Sadly, not all child assault or abduction cases are strangers so it’s important that children know that its OK to speak up if even if a known adult makes you uncomfortable.  We talk about trusting your instincts and listening to your uh-oh voice.  When you get that funny feeling and know something doesn’t feel right, it’s always Ok to say no and then immediately tell another grown up you trust.

School to Work Skills

     5^th graders have been hard at work on a school to work skills unit.  I started by letting them know that they have a job right now not unlike the adults in their lives.  As a student they have specific tasks they are expected to carry out like every job in the work force. They are paid with grades and knowledge and even receive promotions like their occupational counterparts.  I have shared with them that there are essential skills that every worker should have no matter what kind of job they have, be it service worker, professional, athlete, or politician.  When they utilize these skills effectively they are productive and successful workers.

·         We started off with organization and did an activity that demonstrated there isn’t any right way to organize and that it can be very personal.  The important idea is that everything has a home and when you can find it easily you are more efficient. 

·         The second skill we did was focusing.  I also call it “tuning in.”  I compare their brains to a radio.  A radio can actually tune in to more than one station, but it’s hard to get all the information and really understand everything you are hearing.  We discussed strategies for helping your brain really tune in to the right station (teacher, math, piano practice, mom, etc.).  Then we played a game that has been one of their favorite activities so far.  It requires them to tune in to things happening around them and watch for a cue and then follow a set of directions.

·         Next we'll draw homework portraits that allow them to think about their homework habits.  We discussed how good workers make sure they have time for both work and play, but that they can also separate them to be able to do their best at work time.  We discussed best times for working, environment, and creating a work space.

·         Then we'll work on Time Management.  We’ll make schedules and do an activity that requires them to be plan a span of time and to also account for the unexpected.  We’ll talk about how “frontloading” a schedule can help them be ready for things that just come up.

·         We’ll finish with understanding yourself as a learner and a worker.  We’ll do a color quiz where they will have to think about their preferences in work environments and their strengths.  They’ll discover tendencies about how they learn and also the environments they thrive in (working alone or in a group/ indoors or outdoors / with math, human services / science etc.)